Saturday, March 24, 2007

Live up to a new diagnosis...

Wanda,

Sorry to bother you with this but it seems my soon-to-be-ex-wife is spending time trying to diagnose me. She even e-mailed it to my parents. Antisocial Personality Disorder? Huh? Me? I am open to any possibility... but...

Is there a term for someone who spends so much time without any education yet trying to diagnose someone else?

I am confounded... What would Wanda do?

Forever yours,
Jason Darling


Dear Jason...darling,

I consulted my learned colleague, a psychologist, regarding the diagnosis question. Her response? "Someone with no education who spends a lot of time trying to diagnose someone else is a fool."

Your S2BX wife seems to clutching at straws and trying to get everyone on her side. How sad...especially, since that kind of behavior usually backfires. Going through a divorce is difficult under any circumstances and the best possible approach is to make it a non-adversarial process. Too bad she is not able to do that.

I would suggest, however, that you do whatever is needed to be diagnosed as a Duck:

  • Let it roll off your back.
  • Have the ability to float on anything (even sh*t) and keep your bill above the water line.
  • No matter what someone says to you or about you, your response is "QUACK!" (That's hard to misinterpret.)
  • When the season comes, fly south for the winter and north for the summer.
  • If you see a hunter (especially one who looks like your wife) with a gun (or a diagnosis) fly higher.
  • Stay out of range of birdshot until you are over the game reserve then circle in for a landing (it is illegal to shoot a duck over the reserve).
  • Travel in a V with your friends.
  • If you are in Oregon, wear green and gold.

If you need more diagnostic criteria, I am sure we can come up with some.

Hang in there, Jason. That's what I would do.

Wanda

You may send your questions to whatwouldwandado@comcast.net or post them by clicking on "comments" below.

2 comments:

Jason Darling said...

That has to be the most simplistic and yet greatest advice I have ever received...

Quack you!

Jason Darling

tdsutherland said...

I'm so glad you're back and that absolutely IS some of the greatest advice ever!