Live up to a new diagnosis...

Wanda,

Sorry to bother you with this but it seems my soon-to-be-ex-wife is spending time trying to diagnose me. She even e-mailed it to my parents. Antisocial Personality Disorder? Huh? Me? I am open to any possibility... but...

Is there a term for someone who spends so much time without any education yet trying to diagnose someone else?

I am confounded... What would Wanda do?

Forever yours,
Jason Darling


Dear Jason...darling,

I consulted my learned colleague, a psychologist, regarding the diagnosis question. Her response? "Someone with no education who spends a lot of time trying to diagnose someone else is a fool."

Your S2BX wife seems to clutching at straws and trying to get everyone on her side. How sad...especially, since that kind of behavior usually backfires. Going through a divorce is difficult under any circumstances and the best possible approach is to make it a non-adversarial process. Too bad she is not able to do that.

I would suggest, however, that you do whatever is needed to be diagnosed as a Duck:

• Let it roll off your back.
• Have the ability to float on anything (even sh*t) and keep your bill above the water line.
• No matter what someone says to you or about you, your response is "QUACK!" (That's hard to misinterpret.)
• When the season comes, fly south for the winter and north for the summer.
• If you see a hunter (especially one who looks like your wife) with a gun (or a diagnosis) fly higher.
• Stay out of range of birdshot until you are over the game reserve then circle in for a landing (it is illegal to shoot a duck over the reserve).
• Travel in a V with your friends.
• If you are in Oregon, wear green and gold.

If you need more diagnostic criteria, I am sure we can come up with some.

Hang in there, Jason. That's what I would do.

Wanda

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