(honeyboy loves the guest bed)
Help me to hold preciously / Seeds of doubt, / Seeds of fear. / Grace me with trust to Believe / I will again rebirth into Faith / With Hope to feel / deep watery fresh / thirst for Life / once again.Catherine Cameron
from Endarkenment Envelop Me
We're almost three-quarters of the way through the Year of the Beloved. Often about now, I start getting a new impression--what's up for next year? Not yet. Not happening.
Have I learned what I need to know from this year? I don't know. Most days I remember that the Beloved is the Beloved. That's good. Some days I am enveloped in the wonderfulness of being beloved. That's good, too. Those days when I am not even sure the Beloved is home, let alone answering my calls are harder. That's what faith is for.
This year, I learned to love for no reason at all. Probably my most life-altering chapter. For that I am grateful. Even though I forget and have to be reminded, the overall effect on my mood and demeanor has been profound. I am much less cranky over all...which is not to say that I never am cranky. And I must admit, being less cranky is much easier on my nervous system (not to mention that of those around me).
Yep. Fall truly has arrived. I'm reflective. You? What are you reflecting on these days?
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3 comments:
Lovely! I haven't really begun reflecting yet. Too much of my mindset is in figuring out the school year shuffle, I suppose. I am inspired by your practice this year, though, and I love that it has changed your perspective.
Just checking in after a bit of an absence from reading your blog. Love your journey, B. Love the pictures of Honeyboy. Love YOU. p.s. Do you realize we've known each other for 35 years? I remember meeting you in that little parking lot behind Lausanne Hall at Willamette in the autumn of 1976. Maureen Doig introduced us and I thought from the get go that you were something special. This is a wonderful reflection!
Maybe you get two years of Beloved. That's better than two years of Acceptance or Patience. Right?
I'm mostly reflecting on how much I miss the last two autumns in my life.
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