Monday, July 31, 2006

Update: Martha Graham Dances on the Head of a Pin

Here is a dance update you can post.

Last Saturday our performance came and went without our little pinhead......the night before she committed to being there. A couple of the other girls had talked to her and she agreed to ride down with one of them. Of course the one she was going to come with showed up alone as our little pinhead was not there when she went to get her. She wouldn't answer her phone either. The best part of it is that the one she was supposed to ride with (BTW it wasn't me) left her a nasty message on her phone that she should have had the "balls" to tell us at least that night before she wasn't going (yes, this is the edited version of her message and she was lucky it was the other one who left it and not me!). This was done as we were scrambling to change the dances to work without her little pinhead there. Needless to say that even though this was our last performance for the summer we are still going to complain to 'higher authorities' and hopefully she will not have a place with the troupe next year. Mean? Maybe but something has to make her wake up and realize the world doesn't evolve around her little pinhead!

Martha G.

Well, Martha--you tried. All we can do is our best. You and the troupe gave her every chance to make it right. She couldn't rise to the occasion. That must be one scared little puppy there. Sad story, indeed. Let's hope she gets the help she needs.

Thanks for editing the message before sending it to me. This could be a family site!

Appealing to higher authorities so that she won't have a place with the troupe next year is not mean. Of course, it could be done in a mean-spirited manner, but that isn't necessary. Take the high road (once again). Simply report the facts. That will likely be sufficient to bring about the desired outcome from the powers-that-be.

If push comes to shove, you all can simply refuse to be on the same team with her again. However, I think if she doesn't have the cajones to tell you she isn't coming to the performance (after telling you again that she would), she won't have the cajones to try out for the team again. I mean, let's face it--would you want to face you and your team members next year? I don't think so.

The world may not revolve around her little pinhead, but I hope it will evolve beyond it.

Thanks for the update.


Martha Graham said...

I guess we are dancing again Friday pin head friend said she was at her house waiting for someone to pick her up and no one showed.....hum......why didn't she answer her phone then?? Why did she tell [the designated picker upper] she would be at her house???? You don't have to post this just thought I would let you know the know! I feel sorry for the girl. I guess there is no pill for stupid though.

NB: I took out the name to protect identity. ~Wanda

Wanda said...

Well...what are ya gonna do?

We can't know why people do what they do unless we ask them to their faces and get a straight answer. Sometimes we get it--sometimes we don't.

But, I am going to make a guess: This po' li'l thang is scared spitless and doesn't even know how scared she is. She's so scared she can't even hear straight. One wonders why she didn't pick up her phone to call if she was waiting and no one showed. One can wonder lots of things but we are not going to second guess (since I've already made my first one).

All I can say is this: If you get a chance to talk to her, most likely you will get further with her if you speak to her with kindness and let her know how this has been a problem. Even though she has acted like a pinhead, I suspect that she doesn't know how to handle it any other way. A little education can help:

"Here's what you did that was a problem. [Describe the behavior.] Here's how it affected me. [Tell her how you felt and how it affected your life.] And here's how I would like you to treat me/behave with me in the future. [Describe what you want her to do differently next time.]

Even if she doesn't do it differently next time, what you say might register and it could make a huge difference in her life down the road. We never know how our words of kindness will help the people we come across.

Be her angel. Someone needs to.