Wednesday, April 20, 2011

pbr

The cold frames I built for winter didn't work out so well. However, we are putting them to use for starting the garden this wet--wet--spring. One problem...slugs.

Beer is a remedy for slugs. Did you know? Pour some beer in a shallow container, place it near the plants you want to protect and in the morning...you'll have drowned slugs. No kidding.

This evening we ate nachos at our neighborhood Mexican restaurant and with them, I had a Dos Equis. After mowing, edging, weed whacking the ditch, and blowing the sidewalk and driveway, a hoppy refreshment sounded like just what I wanted. And yes, it was good.

After supper, we stopped at the store on the way home. We needed beer for the slug traps. SO waited in the car while I ran in to get it. Cheap beer in a re-sealable container. Pabst Blue Ribbon 40 ouncer seemed like just the ticket at slightly more than $2. I grabbed a bottle and found the shortest checkout line, where I approached the conveyor to the register and stood right behind a very classy looking lady.

My trail walking shoes don't stay tied very well. Unless I specifically tie them right-over-left-left-over-right, they come untied. My normal shoe tying method is left-over-right-left-over-right. So getting these shoes to stay tied requires conscious effort on my part. I didn't do that today.

I walked up to the register conveyor, stepped on my own left shoestring with my right foot, and fell into the counter as I placed my cheap, rot gut PBR on the belt. I chuckled and commented that I stepped on my own shoelace. The classy lady smiled.

Then I thought, "Oh, man...at least she won't think I tripped because I'm drunk." Then I remembered. Dos Equis. Can she smell it on me?

"It's for the slugs...really!" I didn't say it, but I wanted to. "I don't drink this stuff. I have much better taste in beer." Honest.

5 comments:

Deb Shucka said...

So funny! I like that you were most concerned that she'd judge your taste in beer. :-)

Susan O'Neil said...

That's hilarious!

kario said...

I always feel embarrassed when I buy the case of cheapo beer, too! I make a point to mention to Bubba (not pointedly at the cashier so it won't seem like I'm trying to convince him/her), "it was time for some more slug bait beer."

The only downside is that if you don't empty the traps for a few days, you have fermented dead slugs. And they stink like nothing else!

Thanks for the laugh.

Joan said...

Oh, my gosh! I laughed until I cried. I grinned and chuckled all day every time I thought about your story. I wish I would have been with you at the store!

Kathryn Grace said...

Oh, boy. Don't you love those humbling moments when anything you say or do is only going to dig you deeper. Well told. You held the tension so well!