Genuine forgiveness is not an easily cultivated art. Especially when we have been gravely wounded by another person, our basic human dignity affronted, it is no simple task to forgive. Nor should it be done lightly. For we need also to recognize and affirm the anger, the pain, the betrayal, or the sense of injustice that we feel when genuinely hurt.~ Wendy M. Wright ~
Forgiveness is a wonderfully selfish act done on one's own behalf. I believe that in forgiving we must look at what needs to be forgiven and what it cost us.
We can then, fully and consciously examine the transaction, knowing what we paid and decide that we can let go of that incidence (or series of them). We can also decide to avoid being in such a position again. When we are informed and have completed our understanding of the event and behaviors involved, the process is complete.
No shortcuts: Face it. Feel it. Examine, learn, understand. Establish new boundaries. Then we can move on.