Reconciliation is the ultimate aim of nonviolence because nonviolence holds not only for the absolute inviolability of the human person, both friend and enemy, but maintains that human beings are ultimately one family, brothers and sisters to each other.
~ Niall O'Brien ~
Columban priest in the Philippines
I made a mistake. I hurt someone's feelings. My tone comes out sharp and the person I am talking to gets blasted. (I hate it when I do that.) Then I have to own it and apologize.
I recognize that I speak too sharply at times. I am working on doing it softer, gentler, better--and much to my dismay--I still lose my capacity to hold my tongue until I can modulate what's behind it. I apologize.
I apologized for this one, too. I am sad and feel bad that I hurt his feelings. Truly.
He won't take my phone calls--hasn't responded to my messages. I left two--one non-specific: "let's talk" and one specific: "I'm sorry." No response.
The loop is open and it feels bad--I feel bad.
Reconciliation cannot occur if the loop remains open. It just can't.