do you surrender?

Dear Wanda,

Do you ever feel like surrendering your blog?

Jane

Dear Jane,

Yes.

For years--all the way through high school and college and even into my early adulthood--I kept journals. In the attic I have pages and pages of spiral notebooks. Much of it is mind garbage that I felt a need to offload. Little of it is inspired or inspiring. I just needed to write, so I did.

I can't remember exactly when I stopped writing in my journal daily. I think I was in my 30s and going through some kind of relationship crisis. "Why" doesn't really matter at this point. I stopped--and it wasn't good for me.

A few years ago, I started blogging as part of a class I took. I enjoyed it from the beginning. The first blog I started fell by the wayside, because I was no longer inspired by it (or for it). Then I started this one.

It, too, has evolved. I started it as an "advice column". However, with a small readership, I just didn't get enough requests for my infinite wisdom. I started posting my photographs, an inspiring quotation, and writing whatever was on my mind. Occasionally, like now, I would get a request and happily respond.

This year, I made two creative commitments: 1) Take a self portrait every day, and 2) post to this blog daily. So far, I have kept both.

Sometimes I wonder why I continue this blog. The short answer is...I need a place to write. And I need an audience other than the inside of my head. I don't know how many people come regularly to read--maybe a dozen? What is important is that I find my voice to share with others.

Will I continue to post daily next year? I don't know. Will I continue this blog? I don't know. The question that I have needed to answer is "Will you surrender to your blog?"

And for me, that answer is also yes. Because, Jane, if it weren't for this blog (and yours) I wouldn't have gotten to know you.

You know?

Wanda