before & after

2012 - full online movie

Pretty dang interesting! May be too out there for some of you, but I find it thought provoking. If you watch it, tell me what you think....

7 essene mirrors

Until you compare yourself and your experience to an external reference, how can you be anything but perfect?

Gregg Braden

I have a love-hate relationship with YouTube. Often I have difficulty getting the videos to download so that I can watch them all the way through without hang-ups while they are downloading...or even at all. This video is long. It downloaded without a hitch.

I guess I was supposed to watch it. Maybe you are, too:

consider the lilies of the field...

If you're going to care about the fall of the sparrow you can't pick and choose who's going to be the sparrow. It's everybody.

Madeleine L'Engle

Here we are in the Sixth Day of the Mayan Calendar. The place where the new consciousness is flowering--preparing to come into fruition.

Next Friday, the 23rd, we enter the Sixth Night--"fine tuning of the new protoform." Anyone know what the new protoform is?

Unity Consciousness. Oneness. We are all one.

In other words, if I cut off my right hand, my whole body feels it and my left hand has to take up the slack. I don't get to pretend that my low back doesn't hurt and proceed with my life as if pain and limitation don't exist.

War. Famine. Natural disaster. Poverty. Hunger. Illness. Lack of health care. These affect all of us--even the pacifist, well-fed, well-housed, healthy rich.

Are we getting it? Will we get it in time to make a difference.

Only the Beloved knows for sure.

saint honeyboy

Do not think that saintliness comes from occupation; it depends rather on what one is. The kind of work we do does not make us holy, but we may make it holy.

Meister Eckhart

Holiness is being a cat.

Holiness is just being.

Maybe I can wrap my mind around that one of these days...that being is enough. The work comes from who I am being.

one breath

When you find yourself with the Beloved,
embracing for one breath,
In that moment you will find your true destiny.

Rumi

love thursday 09.15.11 ~ another labor of love

Surely the earth can be saved by all the people who insist on love.

Alice Walker

Yes, that is a cast iron pan. We are switching over to using cast iron and getting rid of all the non-stick coatings and undesirable materials.

This pan is old. You can see the pits in the bottom from rust. In fact, when I got this pan from my mom, the entire thing was rust. My dad used to use it in his homemade smoke house when he smoked the salmon and steelhead that he caught. He put vine maple chips in the pan to give the fish flavor. I can't remember the last time he smoked fish. Probably sometime in the 80s.

I used electrolysis, steel brushes on the electric drill, and sand paper with elbow grease to clean it up. Now it's ready for cooking. We probably won't be able to cook eggs in it--at least not with out breaking them--but it will be plenty good for many other things.

Just one more piece of my virtue of reusing.

teach your children well

Modern education pays attention to the development of the brain and the intellect, but this is not enough. We need also to be able to develop warm-heartedness in our educational systems. This we need from kindergarten all the way through university.

HH Dalai Lama

I used to be a classroom teacher. When I was in the classroom, I was too young and hadn't done enough of my personal work to get this. I just pray that I didn't mess too many up too badly.

I'd love to see this curriculum. The best methodology would be modeling, I think.

Yep. Love for no reason at all.

(Name that group!)

i'd love to meet her

If there's a heaven, I hope to hell I go!

Dolly Parton

Hey, Dolly! Let's have a cuppa. Come on over....

and so, i obeyed the beloved

(honeyboy's sabbath)

Love said to me, there is nothing that is not me. Be silent.

Rumi

ten years later...

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history...There is a tiny splinter group, of...a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician. Their number is negligible and they are stupid.

Dwight Eisenhower

I was there. September 11, 2001, I was in New York--the state, but not the city. Upstate. I was at a Sufi Retreat Center, attending a training for my work.

We started gathering for our morning session when we got the news from our group leader. Shock. The center is rustic and somewhat cut off from outside news, as retreat centers often are. None of us had heard before she told us. Several people had felt the "disturbance in the Force."

Terrorism takes many forms.

As we waited for news, we joined in prayer and upholding everyone involved. We tried to still our own swimming minds. We tried to figure out what this meant about our trip home, since all flights were grounded.

SO and I were on the first flight out of Albany, once the grounding was lifted. Eerie. Security tightened. On the way home we laid over in Atlanta. Nothing was on time. No one was sure when they would be able to get their connecting flights. Armed guards strolled the corridors and rode the trains between terminals. When we got on the flight back to Portland, several large men had already boarded. I turned to SO and said, "I don't think they are all Elite Club Members."

Of course, we won't forget. How can one forget such a horror? How can one perpetrate such a horror?

Countless lives were permanently altered that day. I was scared and inconvenienced. As far as I know, I don't know anyone who was in the buildings or on the planes that fell. But I do know someone who went in to help clean up the aftermath. Read her story here.

hey, beloved...you listening?

(honeyboy loves the guest bed)

Help me to hold preciously / Seeds of doubt, / Seeds of fear. / Grace me with trust to Believe / I will again rebirth into Faith / With Hope to feel / deep watery fresh / thirst for Life / once again.

Catherine Cameron

from Endarkenment Envelop Me

We're almost three-quarters of the way through the Year of the Beloved. Often about now, I start getting a new impression--what's up for next year? Not yet. Not happening.

Have I learned what I need to know from this year? I don't know. Most days I remember that the Beloved is the Beloved. That's good. Some days I am enveloped in the wonderfulness of being beloved. That's good, too. Those days when I am not even sure the Beloved is home, let alone answering my calls are harder. That's what faith is for.

This year, I learned to love for no reason at all. Probably my most life-altering chapter. For that I am grateful. Even though I forget and have to be reminded, the overall effect on my mood and demeanor has been profound. I am much less cranky over all...which is not to say that I never am cranky. And I must admit, being less cranky is much easier on my nervous system (not to mention that of those around me).

Yep. Fall truly has arrived. I'm reflective. You? What are you reflecting on these days?

virtue

All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Lately, work interferes with my life. Don't get me wrong. I like working and I like what I do. However, these days staying home, starting, and finishing projects appeals to me far more than going out into the world.

One of the Mayan Calendar teachers says that we will reach a place where money is no longer used as our currency. I don't know what will be, but if I didn't need the cash flow, I'd spend a lot more time hanging out at home.

The economy and my place in it at this moment in time created created the need for me to be more hands on. I make things rather than buying. When I need to buy, I visit Craig's List and reuse what someone else no longer needs. I don't mind. It even makes me feel virtuous.

What is making you feel virtuous these days?

love thursday 09.08.11 ~ cosmic convergence

The love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say, "What are you going through?"

Simone Weil

Carl Calleman, expert on the Mayan Calendar has this to say.

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

In Lak’ech (I am another you).

feline nobility

There is nothing noble in being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.

Hindu proverb

"...you must remain in society"

Giving up attachment to the world does not mean that you set yourself apart from it. Generating a desire for others to be happy increases your humanity. As you become less attached to the world, you become more humane. As the very purpose of spiritual practice is to help others, you must remain in society.

Dalai Lama

Damn.

I must admit that spending a week here at home on the urban farm satisfied me. Going back to work appeals much less than continuing the routine here at home.

I guess that's why some people my age retire. I don't know that I will ever be able to do that. At this rate, I might not even have Social Security in a few years.

Really, I don't really want to remove myself from society most of the time. Having the freedom to enter or withdraw at will is mighty nice.

labor day 2011

‎

History is a great teacher. Now everyone knows the labor movement did not diminish the strength of the nation but enlarged it. By raising the living standards of millions, labor miraculously created a market for industry and lifted the whole nation to undreamed of levels of production. Those who attack labor forget these simple truths...but history remembers.

Martin Luther King Jr.

According to commondreams.org (via Moody Analytics) 5% of Americans with the highest income now make 37% of all consumer purchases. Let's see...that leaves 63% of purchases to 95% of us.

We need jobs. We need flow. More specifically, we need cash flow. If we don't have jobs we can't buy and those at the top will not continue to reap the huge profits of the past.

Cutting spending is not the way to do it. Spend responsibly? Yes. Spend wisely? Yes. But if we cut off the flow, everyone starves. Some literally. Some metaphorically.

I recently advertised for some help on craigslist.org. I asked for someone dependable, reliable, and detail oriented. I knew I was not offering a huge amount of money. I offered to pay what I could afford.

The responses I got amazed me. One person asked just how thorough I wanted someone to be for that amount of money. "Kids at Taco Bell earn more than that!" (Not true, by the way.) I suggested that if she didn't want to work for what I was paying that was okay. And oh, by the way, I hoped that Taco Bell was hiring in her area.

Another set up a time to come then told me she wanted more money. I thanked her and told her my offer was firm.

Fortunately, I found someone--two people, in fact, who are willing to work for what I can pay them, take directions then say "thank you." Then at the end of the job they say, "Thank you for letting us work." That is the spirit of labor that developed this country.

We need jobs for these and others who want to work. Yes, even if it means that I lose the good help that I found. Knowing them, they'll probably keep coming back even after they find full time jobs.

Works for me.

walk your talk

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

Buddha

And make sure it is your own.

vacation

They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.

Kahlil Gibran

I've been on vacation this week. Except for the brief sojourn with the rodent, I stayed home, enjoying the resort we're building here.

I'm grateful for the summer weather--finally--though the cool nights belie the name summer and make me face the reality of approaching fall. No longer do I gauge my years by the beginning of the school year. Each season blends into the next, my work unchanging. Only my wardrobe changes. Soon long pants, long sleeves, and shoes with socks replace short, t-shirts, and flip flops.

The lawn mower comes out less frequently. Garden beds have their winter mulch before we have even harvested the tomatoes. We still have strawberries and blossoms, as I plan the "greenhouse" for banana and blackbird this winter.

Labor Day weekend is here. I've reached the point in my life where I wish I did not have to trade my days for gold. But I do. And I am grateful for work I love.

Not yet, though. Vacation lasts three more days...and I intend to wear shorts, t-shirts, and flip flops through them all.

away

We went away for an overnight.

There was a mouse in our room.

HoneyBoy and Mijo stayed home.

Crap.

love thursday 09.01.11 ~ being a beloved

(wedding flowers)

Every great secret makes one poor, it seems. Like a powerful sexual encounter, it cannot be shared and therefore it cannot be understood or valued by others. As a result, it is almost always misunderstood, especially by those who have not yet discovered their own secret or found their own “private room.” The secret of divine intimacy is by definition unshareable, ineffable, and mysterious even to the one who enjoys it. It makes you great, but it also makes you very lonely, and often the subject of cruel accusations, comparisons, and spiritual competition.

Being a beloved son [or daughter] will not make you fit in, but in fact will make you an outsider in almost all circles—sometimes even to yourself, as you question your own self-assuredness and doubt your own best moments. Every secret makes one poor and lonely, living alone in rooms of doubt—the doubt that comes from an unshareable ecstasy.

Richard Rohr

Talking requires words and language--symbols for an experience or understanding that people share. What happens when no known words can express an experience?

In Living With Kundalini, Gopi Krishna says that we will need to develop a new language.

I think he's right.

affection

(the cannas are in bloom again)

Everyone can understand from natural experience and common sense that affection is crucial from the day of birth; it is the basis of life. The very survival of our body requires the affection of others, to whom we also respond with affection. Though mixed with attachment, this affection is not based on physical or sexual attraction, so it can be extended to all living beings without bias.

Dalai Lama

Hmm. Sounds like love for no reason at all.

My range has been tested lately. Seems many entitled individuals cross my path these days. I'm breathing...deep and often. Even when I don't say it out loud, I'm loving for no reason at all. Well, most of the time I remember.

But seriously--is it too much to ask people to wait for their turn rather than taking it out of turn? Remember when patience was a virtue? I am sure it is a virtue for others, too...not just me.

Much easier for me to share my affection when my patience isn't being tried. That's why he's the Dalai Lama and I'm not.

the healing continues

(the sweetness that is honeyboy in the morning)

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

Albert Einstein

love is a lifestyle

It seems to me that it is a minority that gets the true and full gospel. We just keep worshiping Jesus and arguing over the right way to do it. The amazing thing is that Jesus never once says “worship me!” He says, “follow me” (e.g., Matthew 4:19).

Christianity is a lifestyle—a way of being in the world that is simple, non-violent, shared, and loving. However, we made it into a clever “religion,” in order to avoid the lifestyle itself. One could be warlike, greedy, racist, selfish, and vain, and still believe that Jesus is their “personal Lord and Savior.” The world has no time for such silliness anymore. The suffering on Earth is too great

Richard Rohr

Love is a lifestyle. Love.

If only we could move into Spirit and not keep trying to control each other. Can you imagine what it would be like if we "followed" rather than preaching?

I think I can.

saturday list

Go to Les Schwab for replacement wheels...again.

Negotiate and make arrangements with someone to buy the wood from the tree we had to remove.

Make plans with the stump grinder to take out the stump of the aforementioned maple.

Buy a stool someone advertised on Craigslist. $10.

Fall the "mystery plant," which is not a hollyhock and now has a tree like stump 6 inches in diameter.

Wear at least three blisters on my hands in that process.

Go to the pharmacy. (Thank God for co-pay.)

Go back to Les Schwab...again.

Take a trip to Home Depot to get a part...that they didn't have.

Visit George Morlan for an O-ring. 30 cents.

Repair the kitchen faucet that stopped working while I was washing my hands after falling the mystery tree.

Re-dig the one of the trenches filled by the stump guy.

Replace the bubbler head for the walking stick bamboo that I previously moved out of the way for the stump guy.

Readjust sprinkler heads for distance and sweep.

Wrap the slider on one of the outdoor chairs with teflon tape and put it back in place hoping that it will stay where it belongs.

Discover a split in a garden soaker hose.

Make another trip to Home Depot to get hose repair kit. $4.27.

Sort of repair said hose using parts from the kit and duct tape.

Quit for the day and take a shower.

And you?

friday night wedding

To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten.

Mitten & Deva Premal

Congratulations to the beautiful couple!

tgif

The goal is to cultivate in our hearts the concern a dedicated mother feels for her child, and then focus it on more and more people and living beings. This is a heartfelt, powerful love. Such feelings give us a true understanding of human rights, that is not grounded just in legal terms, but rooted deeply in the heart.

HHDL

TGIF...except for the part where I am taking my mama home today.

:(

love thursday 08.25.11 ~ get burnt in the fire of love

Be daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burnt in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how phony you are.

Brennan Manning

We think of love as soft and gentle--warm and fuzzy. Sometimes love burns. Have you ever been burnt in the fire of love?

I have. The most exquisite pain makes you sure that at any moment you will spontaneously combust. And you don't. And you don't know whether you are glad or disappointed.

It's not a choice. I happens. The choice is whether to be open to the wildness of love, as well as the pink Valentine.

Go ahead. I dare you.

I double dog dare you.

my mother, the comedian

Mom is here visiting for a few days. We love it when she comes to stay. In keeping with SO's birthday month, we went to dinner to celebrate during Mom's visit.

As we turned in to McCormick's parking lot, a Fox News team was filming across the street. No one could tell by looking what story they were covering. The warm evening invited us to eat on the patio in clear view of the crew.

I still wore the clothes I had worn to work and looked forward to my pajamas when we returned home. "I want to take my clothes off." I'm known for speaking in shorthand. Just ask SO. Apparently, my propensity for detail omission causes frequent misunderstandings.

"At least wait 'til we get home!" Mom smiled as she said it. Of all the people on the planet, she understands me in spite of the gaps in facts.

"Maybe I could get on Fox News. 'Fat Lady Strips at McCormick's,'" I made up the headline for the story.

And my mother said, "I didn't see that on the menu."

Yeah...with poblano tartar sauce.

Everyone needs a straight man. I am hers.

the owl & the pussycat

kilroy was here

(taken for brené brown's gift of imperfection project)

I'm becoming more and more myself with time.
I guess that's what grace is.
The refinement of your soul through time.

Jewel

Lately, I've been living life a day at a time. I finish at task. I do the next thing. Progress happens in small increments--analog, not digital.

Some of the work is visible--yard and garden (tending this year's plants, harvesting the crops, getting ready for next season). Some is not--inner work. Yet, all of it is connected, I am sure.

We harvested potatoes, tomatillos, strawberries, and peas. The front yard now wears layers of cardboard and wood chips to get ready for blueberries next season. Cannas moved from one bed to two others because they blocked the water to the rest of the yard. Rabbit poo covers all the beds, restoring nitrogen to deficient soil. Banana got a haircut.

Inside? I'm not sure where the analogy fits. I just know that work is happening--harvesting, transplanting, replenishing, pruning. Some day, perhaps I will see the fruits of those labors. Perhaps you will, too.

francis has new prayer flags

(updated view of the back deck)

And when you pour me upon this world,
it blooms in Beauty,fully Divine.

Rumi

saving private ryan: repost from the rude pundit

This post was copied in its entirety from The Rude Pundit. You can read it on his site here.

The Rude Pundit is known for his salty language--and apparently, so are his guest bloggers. If you are offended by profanity, please do not read...unless you want to be offended.

8/18/2011
Guest Blogging: Saving Private Ryan?:
(This is from PFC Margheriti -not his real name- an active duty soldier.)

Yeah, Tom Hanks did get him home, and then Ryan got to go to the cemetery and reflect on the war. Legit, right? I guess they said "cut" before Ryan got into his car and drove home, daydreaming of steering his vehicle into oncoming traffic. The idea that Hollywood's portrayal of the U.S. military is dead-on is pretty much common knowledge amongst the American public, and we know that the mythical hero who can level a building full of Iraqis is completely justified to do so because he eats MREs and has to masturbate in a port-a-potty. But who am I to criticize? Oh, that's right; I'm a soldier, too!

My recruiter forged his smile while he fed me everything I wanted to know about the U.S. Army: "Free college! Steady paycheck! Getting your head sawed off on YouTube!" I guess by "career" he meant only if you don't die fighting the civilian being paid to endlessly throw rocks and grenades at your convoy. With this career, you'll be left feeling skull-fucked on a daily basis by flashbacks of seeing that brown civilian kid take a .50 caliber round to the face. That subsequent nagging urge in your guts to go on a homicidal rampage. One recruiter called me and based his entire campaign to enroll me based on the fact that I'd get into Disneyland for free. How did he know that I always wanted to hug Mickey Mouse with blood all over my hands? Yes, PTSD is very real, and anyone related to a service member will tell you that their soldier was not the same after coming home, but they won't tell you that he wakes up at night running around looking for his M16 that isn't there, while tactically clearing the living room of insurgents.

Practically every non-commissioned officer has deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan more than once, and probably got their rank from deploying, thus our direct supervisors are normally specialists who fell ass-backwards into their spiffy sergeant rank, and they subsequently make it their personal mission to assert and flaunt their new-found power at any given time of day because of what they've "seen" or "done." It isn't like 20 years ago when you had to have top physical fitness scores and 36/40 targets during rifle qualification, and spend roughly half a decade as a lower-enlisted soldier first. There are some very good leaders in the military who actually give a shit about their soldiers, but many people are fucked in the head by this point. I respect soldiers, their sacrifices for their families, and every mother, father, and child who is left asking, "Why is my soldier dead?" It is that question that has led me to turn my back on the military and the pseudo-conquest of "protecting the country."

I said my goodbyes to my family and was picked up and flown to Fort Knox, Kentucky for Basic Combat Training. It's as one would assume it would be: getting your head shaved, vaccinations, basic issue of uniforms and gear - the works. Drill Sergeants. The apex of military discipline, complete with personality disorders. The fuckers simply love watching you work out; and, since they can't kick your head into the dirt during pushup hour anymore, they find fun and imaginative ways of getting their dick hard that doesn't include violence: having you salute wildlife in front of the chow hall, and then having 30 seconds to eat as opposed to 3 minutes; being given a time limit after the Drill Sergeant spray-paints a grouping of small rocks. Your mission: to turn over each and every rock so that he cannot see any more spray paint. One of them based his mood off of the latest pep talk from his even-less-emotionally-stable superior, mixed in with whatever PTSD-related issue was happening back at home. Be all you can be, now with alcoholism!

My best sense of camaraderie in the military was in basic training, because we were all there for one purpose: to graduate and get the fuck home. Serving the country wasn't even in the equation. It was you, your buddies, and your weapon, and you never went anywhere without those. It was not this epic undertaking of duty; it was a shit-ton of running, shooting, and barracks inspections. And, at the end, you get about 4 hours with your family before moving on to train in your occupational specialty. Afterwards, I went to my appointed unit where we eventually received our warning order to prepare for war, about 9 months away. We all went home and told our families what could be happening, where we could be going, as we don't know anything until just before it happens. A soldier could be ordered to Kandahar, Afghanistan and end up being told that he or she will be going to Iraq 2 months before leaving. (Props to women for wearing a uniform; female soldiers have generally been very proficient soldiers. And sex between soldiers in Afghanistan? Fuck yeah, it happens all the time. Normally in a unit there is at least a 2 to 1 ratio of male soldiers to female soldiers, if not even higher, so there will be the females who act professionally, the closeted lesbians, and the married or single females who want to fuck the shit out of you. And with the males, practically all of them cheat - so think of that the next time your husband changes duty station to a stripper's bacteria-ridden anus that he met off-post.) Deployment weighed heavily in our minds, but we tried to distract ourselves, as we're taught to block out all emotion and continue on.

The fact is, we do appreciate all the respect, handshake, hugs, and thank-yous, but we're just regular people with everyday problems. We're all there to either make money, or to go to college. The only ones who are there to "serve their country" are the high-ranking officers and long-term sergeants who have been in so long that the military is all they know anymore. I may be completely different than my fellow soldiers, either because I no longer agree with what we're doing anymore, or the fact that I'm writing this as a resolute declaration to myself that I am not like them, and never was. During boot camp, they played us many videos of footage recorded in Iraq or Afghanistan. The first was a video of a soldier lying on the floor of a dusty desert house. His head was wrapped in white cloth except for his orifices, and men were talking in their native dialect in the background. I immediately knew where it was going and I didn't want to watch it, but we had to sit there. A frail, underfed native approached the bound form of our comrade and lifted him to rest on his knees. He drew a long knife and tilted the soldier's head close to the camera, hovered over the figure who knew that he was about to die, and then sawed the man's head off his shoulders. There was screaming and blood was everywhere. And then his killer set his head on top of his body and laughed. How the fuck did this guy meet his fate? I felt so much rage I could have gone to war that moment and dealt fire and death to everyone responsible for the mutilation.

We then watched several videos of the Taliban insurgency being shot down and blown to smithereens, and we found ourselves laughing. Laughing. Like the guy who just cut a man's head off. We may as well have done it ourselves and shit down his neck for good measure because, in that moment, we were no longer the guys that our families hugged and cried on. We were the instinctual killers we were trained to be, without fear, pity, or remorse. I thought about every time someone talked about killing like it was supposed to be fun.

The exploits of the Taliban include things like strapping bombs to mentally challenged people and blowing them up at our gates, or paying a child to shoot at our convoy, which ends with the kid getting his brains blown out, courtesy of the red white, and blue. Other ways they have fucked with us is shooting at us from a schoolyard over kids' heads, because we can't fire at schools or churches, though mosques were assaulted at the beginning of OIF to pursue insurgents. That obviously ended quickly, and also the case of the Air Force gunner who opened fire at a mob of little black blobs of people fleeing from a building. Nobody could prove that they weren't insurgents, so we ass-raped some civilians with Lady Liberty's torch and called it "progress." This sort of killing isn't new to us; ever wonder why we never see many Native Americans?

In the time I trained for deployment, I took a look at how other military factions saw war. The Japanese believed that it was glorious to die in battle in service to a deity; they've since been renamed "Right Wing." Religion is its own animal - not my thing. "God is so great, I push all my guilt on him and I don't have to feel responsible about a thing! And, the best part is, he made a magical land that we float up to when we die as long as we rally to take away civil rights!" Wasn't this kind of thing started in a time when it was okay to fuck the underage and enslave the poor to the government, when most people were delusional due to mental illness and disease? Oh wait, that's 2011. Most soldiers don't know a damn thing about politics, myself included, but I'll call it like I see it. We're just not exposed to as much politics on Army bases, We constantly talk about Army, Army, Army, and that's it. I don't doubt that any soldier who reads this will either be laughing his ass off or breaking his laptop by the third paragraph, because it's a hard reality to accept that there is no winning this war. We'll never completely eliminate every terrorist; but, if we did, what would be next? Killing their kids? They already have more than a few reasons to hate us, all they've known their whole lives is war. And, yeah, maybe their dad did plant bombs on the side of the road, but that was their dad, not ours, and he may not have done those things out of hatred, the same way some soldiers don't go to war out of hatred, but to just put some food on the table.

Not every person over there is a monster. What is left of the Taliban is a broken, bankrupt circle of extremists who could never hurt you, or your family in the USA; it's just not possible. They have no resources other than what they can get from a hardware store, household chemicals, and whatever weapons they have stashed under the dirt we walk on over there. Ammonium nitrate is easy to make in the convenience of one's own kitchen, and it's one of the Taliban's favorite weapons because it's cheap. Other examples include pressure-plate activated charges designed specifically for certain vehicles, meaning they've tested them to know exactly what weight they need for the wires to touch completing the connection, and it's designed to detonate on our vehicles rather than lighter, civilian vehicles. They used to fire mortar shells into our bases but they'd be retaliated upon afterwards, so they would fill the mortar tube with ice and drop the mortar on top. The ice melts, and by the time to round gets down to the firing pin, the insurgent is long gone. They've lived in poverty their whole lives while people in the USA went to McDonald's then drove to Burger King because their kids wanted a slice of pie to go with their burger doused in thousand island dressing. I once met a kid from India and he said to me, "My dad said that Americans eat fried Snickers bars, is that true?" Not even I knew we had deep fried candy bars until I looked it up, but some kid from around the world knows about it. People in the unemployment line sure as hell don't think it's fair that they're losing everything they have while Iraq is being rebuilt. We can go help every other country who will destroy itself in civil war whether we're there or not, but we can't give our kids a decent education.

I used to be scared by the prospect of getting out of the military, but I realized that everything I've been taught about being a warrior would be completely contradicted by participating in this pointless endeavor. Honor, to me, is protecting the people you love, not blindly throwing myself into a mine-ridden wasteland. I'd have been more than happy to liberate a Jew and bring him to Hitler's corpse so he could piss on him; hell, I'd even hold his dick for him, but this? We're not fighting soldiers anymore. We see them now as enemies because we are told they're our enemies, and I can't be a part of that. If a foreign power was kicking in the doors of our homes looking for bomb labs and searching our families' personal belongings, we would fight back. What "honor" or "heroism" is there in shooting an opponent wearing no ballistic armor from the turret of an armored truck with a .50 cal machine gun? And, according to the Geneva Conventions, we are not allowed to shoot people with that weapon, but we are allowed to shoot at their equipment - as in the AK47 in their hands. Even civilians carry AKs there; practically everyone in Afghanistan has one, so I guess it can't be that inhumane to blow someone in half. That guy won't ever look at spaghetti the same way again.

I am a warrior. I will protect my fellow countrymen from legitimate danger. We have more to fear from ourselves; we may not have AK47s or IEDs, but we, as a country, carry a concealed weapon called stupidity. Nobody is perfect, but that doesn't mean we can't be good people. I don't need to be in the Army to be a good man. I'm not by any means a hippie, but I love my life, and I love the people in my life too much to have them question why I'm not around. That's my reason for getting out, and I don't really give a shit if anyone disagrees; and, if they're so fucking righteous, then throw on a brain bucket and march their ass down to a recruiter for Disneyland tickets.

welcome to the fifth night: destruction

On Thursday, the 18th of August, we entered the fifth night of the ninth wave of the Mayan calendar. That's if we are speaking in linear terms. Some say that the transitions are not "digital"--no on/off--but like astrology, we slide, glide, or ooze from one influence to the next.

I don't have a great deal of information about the calendar. Just what I read. Carl Johan Calleman is the expert in the field so I include his writing on my blog or you can click and read it here.

The Fifth night of the Ninth wave

The Fifth Night of the Ninth Wave starts as of August 18th of 2011 and many are wondering what this energy will carry. When we look back at history the fifth night usually appears as a very destructive time period and this naturally adds drama to the interest. Typically, the Fifth night means a ¨dark age¨ with some kind of destruction and without exception it has meant a sharp economic decline. It is however never entirely true to talk about an energy in the Mayan calendar as exclusively being destructive or constructive, because similarly to how the god Shiva among the Hindus is both the creator and destroyer all calendrical energies carry both aspects and the destructiveness is there to give room for something new to be created. For us who are living in this momentous end time what is important is to be able to grasp the most relevant information from the Mayan calendar and not get stuck in simplistic labels. It was by recognizing this multifacetness of the calendrical energies (and, if you like, Revelation 16) that I was able to correctly predict that the economic collapse caused by the Ninth wave would be precipitated by the Fifth day that started July 31 and ends now on August 17. (http://www.calleman.com/content/articles/Third_day_Ninth_Wave.htm, May 22 and http://www.calleman.com/content/articles/Beginning_4thNight_9thWave.htm, July 13). To some this downturn may seem like a destructive event, inconsistent with a day, but from the perspective of the emergence of unity consciousness, which is the chief purpose of the Ninth wave, the economic crisis is actually a constructive event that paves the way for the future. Based on that assumption it can actually be said that the development of this economic crisis has followed the Mayan calendar with exceptional precision. In the fifth day the stability of several major European banks has been seriously threatened and government leaders are in constant teleconferences to discuss how to halt the crisis. The US, on its part, has lost its status as AAA and since the midpoint of the fourth night (the seating of the energy of the fifth day) 7 trillion dollars of stock value has gone up in smoke.

Yet, a downgrading of the US creditworthiness and the loss of 7 trillion dollars of stock value really does not mean anything except that the numbers associated with certain papers have been depreciated. It is thus essentially correct when commentators say that so far the crisis has not had any effect on the ¨real economy.¨ The unity consciousness of the fifth day simply shocked the mental duality between abstract values and real values. There is however no reason to expect that it will be possible to limit the crisis to the ¨unreal economy¨. Thus, I expect that in the now beginning Fifth night also the real economy will be hit. How quickly this will actually manifest is hard to tell but I expect that events in the fifth night will lay the foundation for massive unemployment in many major Western countries (It is of course high already, but for many it has still been possible to keep on with the previous lifestyle). I also expect that there will be a large runaway from the stock markets and the stability of currencies will be negatively affected to a point where new radical solutions need to be considered.

In terms of real changes (in contrast to those merely on paper) the breakthrough energy of the fifth day was most clearly visible in the political arena where the authority of governments of major western nations is beginning to collapse. The looting and riots in the UK is one example. Another is that the political system of the United States could not prevent the Tea Party minority to impose its will on the debt ceiling discussions. something that has very seriously weakened the power of its whole political system. This political situation was also the main reason for the downgrading of the creditworthiness of the US, even it can be said that the US government along with many other western governments in fact are way too indebted for their own health and this is not something that was caused by the Tea Party. Regardless, the US political institutions have taken a major beating and no one is really able to see how its functioning is to be restored.

The world is thus entering the Fifth night of the Ninth wave with seriously weakened prospects for its economy and seriously weakened authority of some of its major governments. Such developments were of course what I always have predicted in my books based on the shifts in consciousness that humanity is undergoing with the eighth and the ninth waves: The weakening and downfall of hierarchies of dominance. I have however also often said that there is little reason to expect that the transition to unity consciousness to be smooth and easy, but that it will include very difficult reactions as well. The dramatic changes are coming now with the Ninth wave more rapidly than anyone could have imagined. As part of this, in addition to the crisis beginning to hit the real economy in the fifth night, I think it is realistic that there will be some kind of political reaction to the developing chaos. In the US this could for instance take the form of giving extraordinary powers either to Obama or to the new so called Super Congress possibly under the pretext of some act of terrorism. Given the spread of chaos especially in the economic arena it is not unlikely that such measures also could gain a significant popular support.

My own view is that the economic crisis will only deepen as we go throughout the fifth night into the Sixth day and take large proportions onwards until the end of the Mayan calendar on October 28, 2011. Naturally, many will then ask if there is a solution which could stop this, as I believe, ongoing decline of the current political and economic system. My answer would be that a solution simply does not exist within the framework of the world`s current economic system, since this mandates growth for its own functioning and survival. Yet, there is a fairly simple solution out of the collapse of the world`s economy that we now see the beginning of. The solution is the forgiveness of all debts, not only on the government levels, but most importantly debts that regular people have in the form of credit cards, mortgages and rents, etc etc. Such a forgiveness of all debts would have to be combined with the end of the use of money meaning that people just continue to do their jobs without any form of exchange. This would set an end to growth and help save the planet. It would also liberate people from having to make money in order to survive. All that would be required is that people care enough for one another to continue to do the necessary work for everyone`s survival and wellbeing day by day without asking for money in return. Technically this would not be so difficult to implement, but what is blocking such a solution to the problems of the world`s economy are primarily political and legal. It is however difficult to see why a government or any banks would be needed in such a system and so these groups that hold the world's military power would most likely resist it. Moreover, for many regular people at least in our current world it also may seem difficult to simply enjoy being and so constantly need to be doing things rather than being at peace with them. Yet, I do expect that in the sixth day of the Ninth wave, starting September 6th, we will see the first examples pointing in the directions of such solutions carrying the end to debts and money paving the way for the new world to be born after the end of the Mayan calendar on October 28, 2011. Unfortunately, billions of people lack basic knowledge about the Mayan calendar or even when its end date is and without this basic knowledge it is not easy to understand what is happening in the world.
We all have to work to correct this.

Carl Johan Calleman
Paris, 5 Manik, 17th day of the Fifth day (August 16, 2011)

Sounds like we will continue to be on a bumpy ride for a while. I can't think of anyone I'd rather take that ride with than you all.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

love thursday 08.18.11 ~ love...it's who we are

When we lose love, we lose also our identification with the universe and with eternal values--an identification which alone makes it possible for us to lay our lives on the altar for what we believe.

Sarah Patton Boyle

U.S. civil rights activist
and author of The Desegregated Heart

sometimes i only know the questions not the answers

The important thing about protest is not so much the short-range possibility of changing the direction of policies, but the longer range aim of helping everyone gain an entirely new attitude toward war. Far from doing this, much current protest simply reinforces the old positions by driving the adversary back into the familiar and secure mythology of force. Hence the strong 'patriotic' reaction against protests in the United States. How can one protest against war without implicitly and indirectly contributing to the war mentality?

Thomas Merton

from New Seeds of Contemplation

Time for a new way of thinking and seeing. In one of my all time favorite books, Mr. God This Is Anna, Anna says God has "viewing points," not points of view.

Standing in a new place gives us a new viewing point. I don't know the answer, but this may contribute to the process.

mijo, the great hunter

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.

Unknown Author

Mijo caught a shrew! I'm not sure what happened in the end. I was trying to get him to come inside. He was intent on "playing with" the shrew. I relented and came in without him.

Just as I prepared to get up and call him again, he came in the kitty door...sans mouse. His brother could take a lesson.

And we thought HoneyBoy was the only hunter.....

happy birthday, so

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself... and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.

Shirley MacLaine

It doesn't seem fair for birthdays to fall on Monday--the day we have to go back to playing the part of being responsible and going to work! I decree that birthdays be on the weekends when we can play...henceforth and forevermore.

Happy birthday, SO!

(Let's celebrate all week and through the weekend, too.)

sabbath

I'm having a sabbath--doing only what I want, when/if I want. Enjoy this...if you want.

contributions requested

Lately, I've been disappointed and dismayed by many of the new movies coming out. Lots of darkness, sickness, dysfunction. Gets to be too much sometimes.

Give me your suggestions: What have you watched lately that you've found enjoyable, light hearted, funny, or otherwise worth watching?

i knew it...

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone.

Colossians 4:6

...salty language is scriptural!

love thursday 08.11.11 ~ labor of love

We must learn to love together as [brothers and sisters] or perish together as fools.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Wednesday I stained the deck. All by myself. Six hours on the railing. Two hours on the floor boards. It. Is. Finished.

It was a labor of love. For SO. For me. For the house. For the Beloved.

Love has many forms.

yo! politicos...listen up....

We all deserve a full life, not a life cut short by hunger and homelessness. I can't think of a more pernicious violence we face today on our body politic, nor a more just cause we should all work to correct.

Senator Mark O. Hatfield

In light of current affairs, perhaps our decision makers should listen to our elders and forefathers.

I mean really.

mark o hatfield

I see all life as a part of God's creation, and I think it's rather audacious and presumptuous of humankind to consider that it has the right to destroy creation, to destroy all life.

Former Sen. Mark Hatfield (R-OR)

explaining why he joined with Sen. Edward Kennedy in 1982 to sponsor a
United States-Soviet freeze on nuclear weapons. Hatfield died Sunday at age 89.

In today's age of politics, I am grateful to remember the true statesmen whose job it was to run our country and protect the people. Mark Hatfield was one of those.

He was the governor of my state, sentator for my state, and a fellow alumni from Willamette University. The library is named after him.

No buildings are named after me.

mysticism

When you lose the mystical level, you always become moralistic as a cheap substitute.

Richard Rohr

So the Beloved and I have been having lots of conversations. You might even say we have had a few lovers' spats. Of course, I am the only one doing the spatting--so to speak.

I'd kind of like to be let in on the plan. The Beloved seems to want to keep the mystery.

I have never really liked surprises. Perhaps that explains why faith challenges me. If the outcome is known, it's not really faith is it?

I've tried the moralistic route. Not for me. I'll stick with the mystery--and the mysticism--even though surprises do not thrill me.

Do you hear that, Beloved? I am here for the long haul. But if you want me to go with surprises...they'd better be good.

suddenly, my body

We are all One.

prison

If I had not been in prison, I would not have been able to achieve the most difficult task in life, and that is changing myself.

Nelson Mandela

Not all prisons have bars. Some are not recognizable from the outside--barely recognizable from the inside.

Prisons limit us whether recognizable or not...even those of our own making.

music for your weekend because i love a cappella

http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=31639778#

love thursday 08.04.11 ~ jack and betty

Some things are just worth going after....

81-Year-Old Sweethearts from Danielle Lurie on Vimeo.

a consistent ethic of life

This is just too freakin' good not to share....

A CONSISTENT ETHIC OF LIFE

Up to now, we have almost entirely emphasized personal sin, with little notion of what John Paul II rightly called “structural sin” or “institutional evil.” There has been little recognition of the deep connection between the structures that people uncritically accept and the personal evil things they also do.

The individual has usually gotten all the blame, while what Paul called the powers, the sovereignties, and the principalities (Romans 8:38, Colossians 2:15, Ephesians 3:10, 6:12) have gotten off scot-free for most of Christian history. Paul used rather brilliant pre-modern words for what we would now call institutions or juggernauts, or what President Eisenhower called the military-industrial complex. They have an absolute life (and death!) of their own that is usually above normal understanding and eludes any honest critique. In fact, we tend to worship them as mighty and strong, and therefore always good. “Too big to fail,” we now say.

For example, we idealize public, national wars. In fact, few things are more romanticized than war, except by those who suffer from them. At the same time, we rail against violence in the streets, the violence of our young people, and the violence on the news every night. We are slowly learning that we cannot have it both ways. If violence is a way to solve international problems, then it is a way to solve problems at home too. We can’t say it’s good here but it’s bad there. We know how to name individual sin and evil, but we do not know how to name corporate sin and evil. We have ended up with a very inconsistent morality, which few take seriously any more or even know how to follow. That is why we need a consistent ethic of life.

Richard Rohr

shirley and jenny

beautiful seatbelt

welcome back

We should all smile and make others smile like this...

il silenzio

shrew #2

I was sitting in my chair. I heard HoneyBoy come in and head up the stairs. His breathing was funny. Something was not right. I jumped to my feet and headed up the stairs after him.

At the landing, a shrew cowered in the corner--live. HoneyBoy's breathed fine. Shrews squeal, apparently.

HoneyBoy picked up the rodent and headed for the front door. I closed it behind him--them.

Some time later, HoneyBoy came in the kitty door...with the shrew in his mouth--still alive. I opened the front door and started praising and coaxing HoneyBoy to pick up his prize and go out again. He kept dropping and playing with it, in no hurry to be tricked outside again.

Shrew started to escape. I stepped in front of it. It moved to the right. I stepped in front of it with the other foot, trapping it in the V between my heels. "Help!" I called to SO.

SO grabbed a dish towel and reached between my feet to grasp the shrew. Got 'im! They all went out the front door--HoneyBoy, SO, and the shrew. I locked the kitty door. SO, my hero, I allowed back in.

love thursday 07.28.11 ~ choose kindness

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul purging truth coming on.

Betty White

A spiritual teacher once told me, "When the choice is between truth and kindness, choose kindness."

He and Betty are right.

new day...new joy

Can the joy of yesterday ever be repeated today? The desire for repetition arises only when there is no joy today; when today is empty we look to the past or the future. The desire for repetition is desire for continuity, and in continuity there is never the new. There is happiness, not in the past or the future, but only in the movement of the present.

J. Krishnamurti

Standing in the flow of the Beloved...
Loving for no reason at all.

New joy--
Every
Day.

it is no accident that...

...post #1111 was hula flash mob.

Not planned...and no accident.

ten things i (re)learned this weekend

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Dorothy Parker

1. Three-legged cats can catch shrews.

2. Sometimes when I break something, the fix is cheap and easy.

3. There is more than one solution to most problems.

4. If I break something with high priority repair status, it gets me out of doing something else I was planning to do but didn't want to.

5. Garden gloves (the ones with latex or nitrile palms and fingers) are good for opening jars.

6. Pickled jalapeño slices are great on hamburgers.

7. Beer does freeze...even Canadian beer.

8. Frozen gel packs can break when you sleep on them.

9. In spite of the people whom I need to love for no reason at all, there are some genuinely, wonderfully nice people in the world and I am always grateful when they cross my path. I love them for reasons and no reason.

10. If you wait long enough, lettuce turns to liquid in the refrigerator.

Anything you learned that you'd like to share?

he's baaaaaaaaaaack....

HoneyBoy caught a shrew today. Played with it all day.

Success.

hula flash mob

at 38,000 feet...

Ahh...ALOHA!

only in portland

(healing progress)

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.

Arthur Schopenhauer

I accidentally ran a stop sign. In my defense, an overhanging tree hid the sign from view until I was right beside it. Fortunately, no cross traffic happened by at the same time. (Thank you!) However, the oncoming driver commented aloud to me (I had the top down) that I had just run a stop sign.

Who was the oncoming driver? A cyclist...who ran the stop sign coming across the intersection toward me. No lie.

love thursday 07.21.11 ~ being reminded

Lose yourself, lose yourself in this love.
When you lose yourself in this love,
you will find everything.

Rumi

Today was a bad traffic day on the way home after the third hour-long doctor appointment of the day--not all mine. I was tired...and a bit cranky.

The person ahead of me was turning left. There was a left turn lane. However, she managed to steer only half of her mega-SUV into the turn lane leaving the other half in the lane of through traffic. I had choice words for her.

SO had to remind me..."and I love you for no reason at all." Sigh.

The good news. Upon being reminded, I embraced "I love you for no reason at all" without attitude.

The other good news? SO reminded me. Now there is at least one other person thinking about love...for no reason at all.

Love someone today...for any reason or no reason. Just love someone.

green bird

(the ones that are green have not had as much sun)

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

Ivan Panin

If we ever get a summer, the whole plant will be black...like it is supposed to be. (In case you're listening...Beloved.)

aye...there's the rub

(flower pot? i thought it was my throne.
it has my picture on it. ~ mijo)

If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?

Rumi

HoneyBoy is doing well--better every day. He is now taking half the pain med dose and will probably go down in dose by another half soon.

Mijo no longer hisses at him. They are playing together sometimes. He lets HoneyBoy lick his head. No doubt, they will both be thrilled when HoneyBoy has free in-and-out and they can play together more freely.

Misi is having to get used to HoneyBoy chasing her again. It's hard to tell whether she enjoys it or finds it annoying. I think at some level, fending him off keeps her up on her game.

And we humans are adjusting, too. All in time.

universal compassion

(this year's blackbird)

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.

Arthur Schopenhauer

We are half way through the fourth night of the Mayan calendar. How do you think we are doing? Are we really getting it yet?

Only a few more months until October 28th--when Calleman says the calendar ends. What do you think will happen? I truly don't know. Part of me thinks that nothing different will occur. That the morning of the 29th will occur like any other day. However, I am hoping that we will have made some progress in treating each other well.

I keep wondering what all those corporate bigwigs think they are going to do with all their money when there is no one left to buy their products or provide them services. Let them (us) eat cake?

In the meantime, just remember...I love you for no reason at all. And them, too.

part of today's harvest

(the boys checking out the garlic)

But in the end he [St. Anthony the Great] concluded that not even the devil was purely evil, since God could not create evil, and all His works are good. It may come as a surprise to learn that St. Anthony, of all people, thought the devil had some good in him. This was not mere sentimentalism. It showed that in Anthony there was not much room left for paranoia. We can profitably reflect that modern mass-man is the one who has returned so wholeheartedly to fanatical projections of all one's own evil upon "the enemy" (whoever that may be). The solitaries of the desert were much wiser.

Thomas Merton

Today we harvested the garlic (seen above drying on the front porch) and the fava beans. While watching a movie, we shelled beans. A friend told me he has a wonderful recipe for warm fava bean salad. He says he'll share. I'm waiting....

In the meantime, I feel very secure knowing that no vampires will be coming to our front door for the next several weeks.

universal consciousness (ninth wave of the mayan calendar)

A new way of thinking has become the necessary condition for responsible living and acting. If we maintain obsolete values and beliefs, a fragmented consciousness and self-centered spirit, we will continue to hold onto outdated goals and behaviors.

Dalai Lama

Sounds very Ninth Wave, doesn't it?

I love it that whether people know anything about the Mayan Calendar, astrology, religion, philosophy...any of it...the trend is toward an understanding that we need to get our collective act together and be--well...a collective.

The question always remains: Will we manage to get it soon enough to make a difference? Soon enough that we don't destroy each other and the planet?

What I find interesting is how difficult most of us find it to be good, kind, and loving to others we perceive to be the most unlike us and to ourselves. It's much easier to be good, kind, and loving to those we like--those close to us.

And here's the thing...we are all us. No difference. Usually the problem we have with loving ourselves is the same one we have with those we perceive as so very different--the things we don't like that are in our face.

The Beloved loves us anyway. We are after all the beloved to the Beloved, are we not? Guess it is time to grow up.

kindness

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.

Seneca

I hope that someone is kind to you today.

Happy Friday!